Team America: World Police (2004)
(Release Date: 10/15/04)

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J.C. Maçek III The World's Greatest Critic! "Puppets can't do Shit!" Trey Parker told Newsweek (and just about anyone else who would listen) during the filming of his new film Team America: World Police! The fact that this October 15-released film was still being filmed on October 11th seems to be a testament to this truth! And thus, Parker with South Park Kemosabe Matt Stone has become the Inheritors of a long line of pain-in-the-ass Puppet shows, seen so clearly in Thunderbirds (which TA: WP spoofs in Kind)! In Thunderbirds (the original, not the all-but-unseen theatrical remake) you find sanctimonious, single-minded dialogue delivered by Marionettes without a trace of Irony. This, and the fact that the Marionettes have about as much movement as Al Gore delivered not a few unintentional laughs! Parker and Stone milk the fact that "Puppets can't do Shit!" throughout the film with some of the best laughs in the whole shebang surrounding these stringed puppets facing their own mobile difficulties, to great success, all the while delivering sanctimonious, patriotic and single-minded dialogue with more irony than a bottle of Geritol. Oh, was that bad? See the movie... I'm just following suit! Team Trivia! There's nothing Trivial about this movie... Except this: Among the excellently funny new songs like "America Fuck Yeah", and "Pearl Harbor Sucked and I Miss You", the guys re-use the "Montage" song from the "ASSPEN" episode of South Park! Parker was nominated for an Academy Award for his songs in the film South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut! A two minute sex scene between two puppets had to be cut down to one minute to avoid an NC17 Rating. No issue was taken by the MPAA with the violence and distruction! Matt Stone indicates that the ultra-harsh treatment of "Michael Moore" in this film is revenge for Moore editing a South Park-style anti-gun cartoon into Bowling for Columbine right after his interview with Stone. Though it was never stated that this was a Parker and Stone clip, the implication could be inferred. Matt Stone has spoken out against Sean Combs' "Vote or Die" campaign, indicating that a get-out-the-vote campaign without a get-out-the-information campaign isn't very helpful. In response Sean Penn penned an open letter to Stone and Parker in the LA Times taking issue with these statements. Parker and Stone not only dismiss Penn's comments as retaliatory (Penn's likeness is mocked and destroyed in this film), but also embrace the free press his ire afforded them! Parker and Stone submitted their original draft to Paramount well before the 2003 US Attack on Iraq. Originally the villain of the movie was to be Alec Baldwin and his minions of F*A*G! Parker and Stone at one point wanted to adapt the screen play to The Day After Tomorrow into a Puppet adventure of this kind, but were turned down. -Team Member Kneumsi! Yep, Team America: World Police is packed like a sausage with bad jokes, and visual gags from bow to stern, from port to starboard, all the while skewering both the left wing, the right wing, the right breast, the left breast, the right thigh, the left thigh, and indeed, both drumsticks with impunity, forcing uncontrollable laughter. And, amazingly, like Parker and Stone's own South Park the idiocy is well planned out, and somehow, really quite brilliant. Team America: World Police is simultaneously one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen and one of the most brilliant... and it's definitely one of the funniest films I've ever seen! Team America is a group of ultra Red White and Blue Anti-Terrorist Soldiers, just a little too clueless for safety. They usually end up doing more damage than than the bad guys as they grab the terrorists. The gang of four is missing one member since a terrorist attempt on Paris left Lisa's Lover a pile of so much Couscous! Enter Gary Johnston, Broadway Actor with a degree in World Language hand picked by team leader Spottswoode. Only he can infiltrate the Terrorist organizations and save the mother-effing-day, yeah! And the multiple (though less than mobile) personalities of Sarah, Chris, Joe, and Lisa herself all have different ideas of what to think of the guy. Spottswoode likes him, the super-computer named I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. sort of likes him, and at the end of the day... we pretty much think he's a puppet! While it's true that a great deal of the comedy herein is based around the idea that this is silly, goofy, profane fun surrounding puppets that "can't do shit", this is by far no one-joke movie! Happily, the puppets can do a few things with some technological advances animating their rubber faces into some real expressions, which only makes the whole thing funnier. The satire never ends though as what originally feels like an indictment of the unilateral US policies morphs into a veritable festival of bitch-slaps to lefties like me. Alec Baldwin, Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, Michael Moore, Matt Damon, and many, many more are all slow roasted over the flame that Trey and Matt set under them. Michael Moore is given an especially short stick showing that Matt Stone's appearance in Bowling for Columbine was, by far, not an endorsement! The real targets here are indeed the terrorists, and that Jackass Kim Jong-Il, who teams up with the mocked left-wing Film Actors Guild. It's not Terrorism that's made light of, its terrorists that get the spoof, and viva la satire. There's an aggressive undertone to the whole thing, and even Trey Parker and Matt Stone have said that bringing kids to see this movie wouldn't be "too cool!" Make no mistake, this film is more profane than an Italian Sailor's sex diary and more violent than that behind the scenes look at One Day at a Time! But what about that infamous puppet-sex scene? Magnifique! While it may sound like a goofy mess, it's a goofy mess with a hell of a Maestro at the baton! Parker and Stone with co-writer Pam Brady have proven again that they're the best at the intelligently crafted "Stupid Comedy". There may be no denying the stupid jokes and gags in the film, but it's a structured and multiple meaning stupidity that Mikey Myers has been trying with his Austin Powers franchise since the first film. It takes a Genius to spin stupid this brilliantly, though. What the hell do I mean? Go see the movie! From the ridiculous plot to the Bruckheimer spoofs to the incredibly funny musical numbers (by Oscar Nominee Trey Parker), to the so funny and obvious SFX, Team America: World Police is the funniest adult-oriented puppet show I've ever seen, ahem, and is thus worth every bit of Four Stars out of Five. A divisive rating at best... and here, I wanted to be a uniter, not a divider. So anyway, Screw you guys! I'll see you in the next reel! No, No! Screw you... Next Reel!